Tomorrow, but in reality, the day after tomorrow, I will be in the USA.
Here is a simulation of what it will be like made from data falling from the sky
12.22.2009
12.18.2009
12.17.2009
TO THOSE INVOLVED
My girlfriend and I will be in America on the evening of Dec. 22nd.
Come shake hands with us in person.
Come shake hands with us in person.
12.15.2009
12.08.2009
MAYBE U WANT TO LEARN ME BETTER
Hi to you
Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is. Sweetheart, I sent a kiss on a refreshing wind: the kiss howled across the plaints and flowers; it brushed the underbrush; it stroked the cattails; it kicked up a dust storm; it made the cactus bristle; it teased the lilies; it snuck across the shore and stirred the ocean; and whipped through sails, it picked up the scent of gardenias and honeysuckle; it wrote, “I need you” in the clouds...
and finally it arrived at your door hoping to find you because I
am looking for you
Kisses
Julia S.
(this is an actual spam e-mail I received, but the sentiment was so beautiful I had to share it)
Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is. Sweetheart, I sent a kiss on a refreshing wind: the kiss howled across the plaints and flowers; it brushed the underbrush; it stroked the cattails; it kicked up a dust storm; it made the cactus bristle; it teased the lilies; it snuck across the shore and stirred the ocean; and whipped through sails, it picked up the scent of gardenias and honeysuckle; it wrote, “I need you” in the clouds...
and finally it arrived at your door hoping to find you because I
am looking for you
Kisses
Julia S.
(this is an actual spam e-mail I received, but the sentiment was so beautiful I had to share it)
12.04.2009
A LIST OF NOTABLE GHOSTS, AND NOTABLE GHOSTTYPES PART ONE: THE BASIC NEUTRAL GHOSTTYPES
The Basic Neutral (non-scary) Ghosttypes
Tune Ghosts-
These ghosts emit a low frequency song and can be found in between radio stations.
Ghost in a hat-
This ghost is notable for wearing a hat. Sometimes this ghost turns invisible and he just looks like a floating hat. If he lays down and rubs dirt on his hat he can disguise himself as a discarded hat.
Footstep Ghosts-
These ghosts stay out of sight and imitate the sound of footsteps, usually in old houses.
Fun fact: They imitate the sound of footsteps with their hands.
Ghost on a staircase-
This ghost moves slow and thinks slower. This ghost has the ultimate comeback in a verbal fight after he has already gone home, and contrary to his name, spends most of his time sitting on his bed (not the staircase) thinking about his comeback. (from the French)
Rubber Ghosts-
This ghost bounces.
King Ghost-
Once thought to be the king of all ghosts. This ghost is actually just a ghost wearing a crown. It was discovered that there are multiple King Ghosts when a paranormal investigator stumbled into a King Ghost party by accident. Inside multiple King Ghosts were inside drinking and talking. There was no music or dancing, but overstuffed chairs and some pipe smoke.
King Ghosts apparently have a mysterious and complicated social hierarchy. Though it has yet to be determined whether a King Ghost's social standing is judged either by the size or splendor of his crown.
Most King Ghosts' crowns, on closer inspection, are not made out of precious metals but appear to be made out of shiny trash. The foil from cigarette boxes, candy wrappers, shiny buttons, &tc.
The same goes for King Ghosts' mustaches.
Sigh Ghosts-
This ghost is invisible and is usually found laying face-down on the floor sighing.
Celebrity ghosts-
There are two types of celebrity ghosts: Posthumous and Early.
Early celebrity ghosts were famous before death. A perfect example is "the ghost of the Famous Murderer." (for more info see section three, Murder Ghosts) Though the Famous Murderer continued his murdering after his death, his celebrity as a ghost hinged on his recognition as a murderer in the pre-death.
Posthumous celebrity ghosts achieve celebrity after they have become ghosts. The majority of celebrity ghosts fall into this category. The Ghost of The Rocket, The Diner Kitchen Ghost, The Ghost of the Wailing Dumpster, The Ghost of the Missing Continent, Encyclopedia Ghost Junior; all of the most well known celebrity ghosts attained their fame through post-death hauntings and activities.
There is a third, and disputed, type of celebrity ghost. This is the Early Pre-Death Celebrity Ghost. This is a living celebrity whose fall from the public eye has rendered him or her into an apparition. Again this typification as a ghost is hotly debated.
Stain/Freckle/Blot/Smudge ghosts-
This form of ghost appears as a small spot and attaches itself to a host. The host can be a living creature, a machine, an article of clothing, or another ghost. It is parasitic by nature.
Pretender Ghosts-
These are ghosts who simply pretend to be something else, usually inanimate. This ghost, when discovered, will deny that it is a ghost pretending to be, say, a car, or whatever it is pretending to be. If the ghost can be successfully convinced that no one is falling for its act, the ghost will move on.
Pretender ghosts are notorious for their pride. Often pretender ghosts pretend to be a piece of flashy jewelery or the hood ornament on a car. Sometimes a pair of expensive shoes. A factory had to once close its doors when it was discovered most of the machines on its assembly line was a team of pretender ghosts.
There is a subset of Pretender Ghosts, called "Pretender-to-the-crown-ghosts" which live on top of the heads of King Ghosts.
Lighting Ghosts-
These ghosts turn the lights on and off when no one is around. If the house has a dimmer switch, forget about it, these motherfuckers go to town.
Furniture Ghosts-
These ghosts appear under their shrouds to have the shapes of simple and unfinished pieces of furniture.
Ghost in a Box-
Above all else this ghost does not want to be found so it hides in a box. Or it hides in a smaller box inside a bigger box. As a defense instinct, Ghosts in a box label their own boxes with words that are either boring or unappealing, in hopes no one will want to open their box and look inside.
In this way Ghosts in a box must think long and hard about how to label their boxes. So they might write something mundane like "paperclips". But there is always the danger that someone might be out looking for paperclips and be so overjoyed by their luck that they immediately open the box, finding the ghost who does not want to be found. If the ghost writes something unappealing like "medical waste" or "dead animals inside" on their box there is the danger that someone will want to open the box and photograph the contents, or worse, send their box to the municipal dump where it will be mashed up with the other refuse into an uncomfortable cube.
This is why many times Ghosts in a Box are found before they have even entered their box, standing outside of it, their faces screwed up in consternation, their hesitating hands holding a magic marker.
One-Ring-Phone Ghosts-
These ghosts sit on the floor with the phone calling numbers at random and hanging up after one ring. Are they too shy to talk? Who are they trying to reach?
These questions have never been answered because no one wants to disturb these ghosts while they are on the phone, which they always are.
Bus Ghosts-
These ghosts ride the bus and never get off. When the bus returns to the depot at night these ghosts are nowhere to be found.
Tune Ghosts-
These ghosts emit a low frequency song and can be found in between radio stations.
Ghost in a hat-
This ghost is notable for wearing a hat. Sometimes this ghost turns invisible and he just looks like a floating hat. If he lays down and rubs dirt on his hat he can disguise himself as a discarded hat.
Footstep Ghosts-
These ghosts stay out of sight and imitate the sound of footsteps, usually in old houses.
Fun fact: They imitate the sound of footsteps with their hands.
Ghost on a staircase-
This ghost moves slow and thinks slower. This ghost has the ultimate comeback in a verbal fight after he has already gone home, and contrary to his name, spends most of his time sitting on his bed (not the staircase) thinking about his comeback. (from the French)
Rubber Ghosts-
This ghost bounces.
King Ghost-
Once thought to be the king of all ghosts. This ghost is actually just a ghost wearing a crown. It was discovered that there are multiple King Ghosts when a paranormal investigator stumbled into a King Ghost party by accident. Inside multiple King Ghosts were inside drinking and talking. There was no music or dancing, but overstuffed chairs and some pipe smoke.
King Ghosts apparently have a mysterious and complicated social hierarchy. Though it has yet to be determined whether a King Ghost's social standing is judged either by the size or splendor of his crown.
Most King Ghosts' crowns, on closer inspection, are not made out of precious metals but appear to be made out of shiny trash. The foil from cigarette boxes, candy wrappers, shiny buttons, &tc.
The same goes for King Ghosts' mustaches.
Sigh Ghosts-
This ghost is invisible and is usually found laying face-down on the floor sighing.
Celebrity ghosts-
There are two types of celebrity ghosts: Posthumous and Early.
Early celebrity ghosts were famous before death. A perfect example is "the ghost of the Famous Murderer." (for more info see section three, Murder Ghosts) Though the Famous Murderer continued his murdering after his death, his celebrity as a ghost hinged on his recognition as a murderer in the pre-death.
Posthumous celebrity ghosts achieve celebrity after they have become ghosts. The majority of celebrity ghosts fall into this category. The Ghost of The Rocket, The Diner Kitchen Ghost, The Ghost of the Wailing Dumpster, The Ghost of the Missing Continent, Encyclopedia Ghost Junior; all of the most well known celebrity ghosts attained their fame through post-death hauntings and activities.
There is a third, and disputed, type of celebrity ghost. This is the Early Pre-Death Celebrity Ghost. This is a living celebrity whose fall from the public eye has rendered him or her into an apparition. Again this typification as a ghost is hotly debated.
Stain/Freckle/Blot/Smudge ghosts-
This form of ghost appears as a small spot and attaches itself to a host. The host can be a living creature, a machine, an article of clothing, or another ghost. It is parasitic by nature.
Pretender Ghosts-
These are ghosts who simply pretend to be something else, usually inanimate. This ghost, when discovered, will deny that it is a ghost pretending to be, say, a car, or whatever it is pretending to be. If the ghost can be successfully convinced that no one is falling for its act, the ghost will move on.
Pretender ghosts are notorious for their pride. Often pretender ghosts pretend to be a piece of flashy jewelery or the hood ornament on a car. Sometimes a pair of expensive shoes. A factory had to once close its doors when it was discovered most of the machines on its assembly line was a team of pretender ghosts.
There is a subset of Pretender Ghosts, called "Pretender-to-the-crown-ghosts" which live on top of the heads of King Ghosts.
Lighting Ghosts-
These ghosts turn the lights on and off when no one is around. If the house has a dimmer switch, forget about it, these motherfuckers go to town.
Furniture Ghosts-
These ghosts appear under their shrouds to have the shapes of simple and unfinished pieces of furniture.
Ghost in a Box-
Above all else this ghost does not want to be found so it hides in a box. Or it hides in a smaller box inside a bigger box. As a defense instinct, Ghosts in a box label their own boxes with words that are either boring or unappealing, in hopes no one will want to open their box and look inside.
In this way Ghosts in a box must think long and hard about how to label their boxes. So they might write something mundane like "paperclips". But there is always the danger that someone might be out looking for paperclips and be so overjoyed by their luck that they immediately open the box, finding the ghost who does not want to be found. If the ghost writes something unappealing like "medical waste" or "dead animals inside" on their box there is the danger that someone will want to open the box and photograph the contents, or worse, send their box to the municipal dump where it will be mashed up with the other refuse into an uncomfortable cube.
This is why many times Ghosts in a Box are found before they have even entered their box, standing outside of it, their faces screwed up in consternation, their hesitating hands holding a magic marker.
One-Ring-Phone Ghosts-
These ghosts sit on the floor with the phone calling numbers at random and hanging up after one ring. Are they too shy to talk? Who are they trying to reach?
These questions have never been answered because no one wants to disturb these ghosts while they are on the phone, which they always are.
Bus Ghosts-
These ghosts ride the bus and never get off. When the bus returns to the depot at night these ghosts are nowhere to be found.
12.02.2009
THIS BLOG HAS TAKEN A TURN FOR THE HORRIFIC SO NOW THE PURGE
Watch this and it will make everything okay
12.01.2009
YOUTUBE HOLDING PATTERN OVER THE UNCANNY VALLEY AND THE PLANE IS ON FIRE AND THE CARGO DECK IS FULL OF LATEX FACES
Goddamnit, I've found a horrifying pocket of the youtubiverse.
Don't watch these videos if you don't want your skin to crawl.
Uncanny Valley vs. Transvestites
Don't watch these videos if you don't want your skin to crawl.
Uncanny Valley vs. Transvestites
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