JD Salinger is dead but everyone is quoting Akutagawa:
"Once he had finished writing "The Life of a Stupid Man", he happened to see a stuffed swan in a secondhand shop. It stood with its head held high, but its wings were yellowed and moth-eaten. As he thought about his life, he felt both tears and mockery welling up inside him. All that lay before him was madness or suicide. He walked down the darkening street alone, determined now to wait for the destiny that would come to annihilate him."
1.29.2010
WHITE PEOPLE FLIP OUT ABOUT PORTABLE COMPUTER
"This changes the face of computing" said area white man.
Apparently the current face of computing opened its computer mouth and delivered a speech about some kind of tablet complete with stylus for digital cuneiformatting.
"I'm holding it in my hands but it is so light I am not sure if I am actually still holding it in my hands!" screamed a white woman, who was indeed holding the tablet. During her brief statement she checked multiple times to make sure she was still holding this marvel of science.
Later some people talked about a television show and a possible war between two rival television shows. Almost imperceptibly an explosion was heard in the distance.
Apparently the current face of computing opened its computer mouth and delivered a speech about some kind of tablet complete with stylus for digital cuneiformatting.
"I'm holding it in my hands but it is so light I am not sure if I am actually still holding it in my hands!" screamed a white woman, who was indeed holding the tablet. During her brief statement she checked multiple times to make sure she was still holding this marvel of science.
Later some people talked about a television show and a possible war between two rival television shows. Almost imperceptibly an explosion was heard in the distance.
BEEN HAD SEXUAL REPRESSION IN SOUTH KOREA, GAMINES MUGGING IN HYPE WILLIAMS COLORS
Well well well,
there is something deeply perverse in all of this. I can't put my finger on it.
I can only imagine I am the young finger of a fresh faced girl, poking snuggly into a dimpled cheek.
No these girls aren't using sign language, they are in fact, Korean.
Why do they mug and throw crazy gestures on every close-up?
How many winks and hand flutters can you throw out before it looks like a tic?
Why do I want to make love to all of these child-women and or kill myself/animals in front of them?
These videos are from this year but they feel like post-war live television time paradox where there was a geritol commercial interrupting the "No Scrubs" video.
there is something deeply perverse in all of this. I can't put my finger on it.
I can only imagine I am the young finger of a fresh faced girl, poking snuggly into a dimpled cheek.
No these girls aren't using sign language, they are in fact, Korean.
Why do they mug and throw crazy gestures on every close-up?
How many winks and hand flutters can you throw out before it looks like a tic?
Why do I want to make love to all of these child-women and or kill myself/animals in front of them?
These videos are from this year but they feel like post-war live television time paradox where there was a geritol commercial interrupting the "No Scrubs" video.
1.28.2010
1.27.2010
2010: STATE OF THE WEB THREE POINT OH
STEP ONE: Man/woman/child/building falls down and/or animal does something in front of a camera.
STEP TWO: Science builds a hairstyle in front of a map of Los Angeles and this hairstyle births a lined forehead connected to a Casey Kasem-esque construct. The construct achieves consciousness and sees the footage of Man/woman/child/building falling down and/or animal doing something. The construct then makes a video of himself commenting on the Man/woman/child/building falling down and/or animal doing something, using a voice bubbling out of an fm radio in his throat which is powered by hair gel. (see below)
STEP THREE: I think about how much all the stuff in my room costs and how much of it will possibly be regarded as treasure in some unforseeable future scenario. Too distracted to tally up this astronomical future fantasy sum I look at the internet to see this Kaseman commenting on Man/woman/child/building falling down and/or animal doing something and am thoroughly disgusted. I try to imagine why this Kasemite would bother making these videos; I question his dreams and aspirations. Does he want to be the Kasem that this hairstyle and LA LOOKS voice has made him? Is this a stepping stone to a Shadow Stevens style voice-life? Does he think his uninspired commentary on Man/woman/child/building falling down and/or animal doing something is interesting? Does he question how parasitic this is?
Asking myself these questions out loud I post a video of mediocre man throwing bland quips at a blooper reel on my blog and wait.
STEP FOUR: I wait and fantasize. I think of my blog and who might be looking at it. An attractive woman fingering herself? Someone chained to a wall? Maybe the screen is showing my blog to an empty room. A room inside a boat? It is slightly terrifying.
STEP FIVE: Someone sees my blog about a man talking about a video. And this person draws a still life of my blog in a bowl of oranges.
STEP SIX: Complete and total collapse of everything and the last stragglers crawling out of the rubble to fight over the remaining goods, some humping the corpses strewn about, some humping the parts of the corpses sticking out from under the debris. Unimaginative religions are created and immediately forgotten.
STEP SEVEN: An unknowable amount of time passes.
STEP EIGHT: Someone comes into my room and starts assigning prices to all of my stuff. I will never know what these prices are because I am long dead. My skeleton lies in the center of the room and I am grinning about something. No one will ever know what I am grinning about because I am long dead. Later thieves take away my bones mistaking them for something else.
STEP TWO: Science builds a hairstyle in front of a map of Los Angeles and this hairstyle births a lined forehead connected to a Casey Kasem-esque construct. The construct achieves consciousness and sees the footage of Man/woman/child/building falling down and/or animal doing something. The construct then makes a video of himself commenting on the Man/woman/child/building falling down and/or animal doing something, using a voice bubbling out of an fm radio in his throat which is powered by hair gel. (see below)
STEP THREE: I think about how much all the stuff in my room costs and how much of it will possibly be regarded as treasure in some unforseeable future scenario. Too distracted to tally up this astronomical future fantasy sum I look at the internet to see this Kaseman commenting on Man/woman/child/building falling down and/or animal doing something and am thoroughly disgusted. I try to imagine why this Kasemite would bother making these videos; I question his dreams and aspirations. Does he want to be the Kasem that this hairstyle and LA LOOKS voice has made him? Is this a stepping stone to a Shadow Stevens style voice-life? Does he think his uninspired commentary on Man/woman/child/building falling down and/or animal doing something is interesting? Does he question how parasitic this is?
Asking myself these questions out loud I post a video of mediocre man throwing bland quips at a blooper reel on my blog and wait.
STEP FOUR: I wait and fantasize. I think of my blog and who might be looking at it. An attractive woman fingering herself? Someone chained to a wall? Maybe the screen is showing my blog to an empty room. A room inside a boat? It is slightly terrifying.
STEP FIVE: Someone sees my blog about a man talking about a video. And this person draws a still life of my blog in a bowl of oranges.
STEP SIX: Complete and total collapse of everything and the last stragglers crawling out of the rubble to fight over the remaining goods, some humping the corpses strewn about, some humping the parts of the corpses sticking out from under the debris. Unimaginative religions are created and immediately forgotten.
STEP SEVEN: An unknowable amount of time passes.
STEP EIGHT: Someone comes into my room and starts assigning prices to all of my stuff. I will never know what these prices are because I am long dead. My skeleton lies in the center of the room and I am grinning about something. No one will ever know what I am grinning about because I am long dead. Later thieves take away my bones mistaking them for something else.
1.26.2010
1.21.2010
1.19.2010
???
Sixty miles from Haiti's devastated earthquake zone, luxury liners dock at private beaches where passengers enjoy jetski rides, parasailing and rum cocktails delivered to their hammocks.
The 4,370-berth Independence of the Seas, owned by Royal Caribbean International, disembarked at the heavily guarded resort of Labadee on the north coast on Friday; a second cruise ship, the 3,100-passenger Navigator of the Seas is due to dock.
The Florida cruise company leases a picturesque wooded peninsula and its five pristine beaches from the government for passengers to "cut loose" with watersports, barbecues, and shopping for trinkets at a craft market before returning on board before dusk. Safety is guaranteed by armed guards at the gate.
The decision to go ahead with the visit has divided passengers. The ships carry some food aid, and the cruise line has pledged to donate all proceeds from the visit to help stricken Haitians. But many passengers will stay aboard when they dock; one said he was "sickened".
"I just can't see myself sunning on the beach, playing in the water, eating a barbecue, and enjoying a cocktail while [in Port-au-Prince] there are tens of thousands of dead people being piled up on the streets, with the survivors stunned and looking for food and water," one passenger wrote on the Cruise Critic internet forum.
"It was hard enough to sit and eat a picnic lunch at Labadee before the quake, knowing how many Haitians were starving," said another. "I can't imagine having to choke down a burger there now.''
Some booked on ships scheduled to stop at Labadee are afraid that desperate people might breach the resort's 12ft high fences to get food and drink, but others seemed determined to enjoy their holiday."I'll be there on Tuesday and I plan on enjoying my zip line excursion as well as the time on the beach," said one.
The company said the question of whether to "deliver a vacation experience so close to the epicentre of an earthquake" had been subject to considerable internal debate before it decided to include Haiti in its itineraries for the coming weeks.
"In the end, Labadee is critical to Haiti's recovery; hundreds of people rely on Labadee for their livelihood," said John Weis, vice-president. "In our conversations with the UN special envoy of the government of Haiti, Leslie Voltaire, he notes that Haiti will benefit from the revenues that are generated from each call …
"We also have tremendous opportunities to use our ships as transport vessels for relief supplies and personnel to Haiti. Simply put, we cannot abandon Haiti now that they need us most."
"Friday's call in Labadee went well," said Royal Caribbean. "Everything was open, as usual. The guests were very happy to hear that 100% of the proceeds from the call at Labadee would be donated to the relief effort."
Forty pallets of rice, beans, powdered milk, water, and canned foods were delivered on Friday, and a further 80 are due and 16 on two subsequent ships. When supplies arrive in Labadee, they are distributed by Food for the Poor, a longtime partner of Royal Caribbean in Haiti.
Royal Caribbean has also pledged $1m to the relief effort and will spend part of that helping 200 Haitian crew members.
The company recently spent $55m updating Labadee. It employs 230 Haitians and the firm estimates 300 more benefit from the market. The development has been regarded as a beacon of private investment in Haiti; Bill Clinton visited in October. Some Haitians have decried the leasing of the peninsula as effective privatisation of part of the republic's coastline.
VIA THE GUARDIAN.UK
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