FIELD INTELLIGENCE FILE 227: WHO OR WHY IS XUXA?

INTELLIGENCE FIELD REPORT: 21.11.16 (LONG FORM BLOG POST ABOUT THE MYSTERIES OF OUR WORLD, XUXA EDITION)
I: Some Background Information:


Anyone interested can look up Xuxa and find that her Wikipedia page is an academic battlefield, where, I am sure, only love can bloom, to wit:
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Gentlemen, what is XUXA? In the interest of time I quote liberally from Wikipedia:

Xuxa (Portuguese pronunciation: [ˈʃuʃɐ]), Maria da Graça "Xuxa" Meneghel, March 27, 1963, Santa Rosa, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil) is a Brazilian Grammy Award Winner, television actress, singer and children's television show host. Her various shows have been broadcast in Portuguese, Spanish, and English. Xuxa is of German, Austrian, Italian, and Polish descent. Her achievements include the second best-selling album in the history of Brazil and being the singer with the second highest total of number-one hits by a female in the Brazilian charts, surpassed only by Daniela Mercury. Xuxa has some of the biggest box office results in Brazilian history and has amassed a fortune of over $470 million. ... Xou da Xuxa is probably the most famous children's show in Brazil and Latin America. ... Xuxa presented cartoons and games, did interviews and performed some of her songs. ... The audience of the show was of kids who jumped up and down during the whole show. Kids shook pompoms throughout the show, marking the trademarks of the show. But the biggest trademark was the pink spaceship. Every show began with Xuxa getting out of the spaceship and at the end, she would go back to the spaceship (it remains so even today). Every year she released a new album for children. 1988's Xou da Xuxa 3 with her biggest hit 'Ilariê' (#1 in the radio in almost every Latin America country)... Xou da Xuxa ended in 1993 due to Xuxa's desire to invest more time in her international career, which included Spanish and English versions of Xou da Xuxa as well as various shows in the U.S. and Europe. During that year, she developed health problems attributed to stress; a typical week consisted of seven hours of taping for a month's worth of shows coupled with flying to Argentina where the Spanish version was taped.

To make things more complicated, comes this description of Xuxa's "Pink Spaceship" from an unregistered source:

...There the hand of Xuxa came upon me. As I looked, a stormwind came from the North, a huge cloud with flashing fire (enveloped in brightness), from the midst of which (the midst of the fire) something gleamed like electrum.

Within it were figures resembling four living creatures that looked like this: their form was human, but each had four faces and four wings, and their legs went straight down; the soles of their feet were round. They sparkled with a gleam like burnished bronze.

Their faces were like this: each of the four had the face of a man, but on the right side was the face of a lion, and on the left side the face of an ox, and finally each had the face of an eagle.

Their faces (and their wings) looked out on all their four sides; they did not turn when they moved, but each went straight forward... Human hands were under their wings, and the wings of one touched those of another...

Fuck it, the description just gets harder and harder to figure out.

The point being that this shit is crazy. She's the host of a show aimed at children, yet there is something undeniably erotic about her. And not in that typical mother/whore bullshit, something heroically erotic, something strangely chaste, in a room full of kids, she is dressed like the captain of a luxury liner with giant shoulder pads, the whiteness of her teeth shining and momentarily alighting on the faces of the elect.

It is undeniable that there is a light which comes forth from Xuxa. A light not unlike the light which followed the savage genesis of our world; in which our ancestors awakened, temporarily blind, yawning, and totally down to fuck. And also down to build stuff and start naming things.

II: File Footage

Throughout history (though mainly in the late 1980s) Xuxa has appeared to us as a historical and powerful force. (see: this file footage)

Here is a basic rundown for those without the time or patience to watch the above. Xuxa appears in a nameless ghetto. There is nothing but children here, their parents apparently either operating or being operated on in the bone factories of the third world. Here the children subsist on hard breads, dry white crackers, and graffiti. They wear the primary colors of creeds and politics foisted on them from birth, the consequences of history. And these little motherfuckers are at each other's throats!

But Xuxa appears, seemingly out of nowhere, like a comet. She is riding a dope bike, a machine separate from Xuxa but an aspect of herself made into utility, as in the Kaballah where YHVH being everywhere and therefore incapable of action works through the divine will. The dopeness of Xuxa's bike being an emanation of the dopeness of her body.

Riding along with Xuxa in the back basket of her white bike is the pile of a Rag Dog, an emissary of death, as reflected in the lower biological realities and eventualities of corruption and loss. But as he has been tamed by Xuxa he is a coeval and a celebrant. His posture is begrudging, but nonetheless he is a participant in the fun. He is age and resentment in the rehabilitation of Xuxa's love. But his presence in the ensuing ceremony is necessary. For without the shadow of the ragdoll, the soft and furry memento mori, Xuxa's work would resemble one of those pastoral scenes frozen onto an opulent parlor wall behind wigged and ribboned figures exchanging gifts while the world outside consisted of teeth and fire.

"Et in Arcadia ego"

To return to the action at hand:

With a honk of her horn Xuxa makes her presence known.

The children halt their attempted honor killings and look up. She looks on their violence and wags an admonishing finger in front of her brilliant smile. From her basket she produces not treasure or sustenance, but paintbrushes. She is giving these children the gift of the creative impulsive, the pre-erotic and transformative aspect new to their youth, until now only expressed in destruction. She beckons the children to follow on their bikes and on foot, among them one in a denim jacket hangs back.

They follow her through a gas station (this image too obvious to explore, but in brief: the fulfillment and refillment, the transformation of the skeletons and scales of ancient giants, long dead, into the fuel of the living. History coupled in the meeting of ancient monsters and the will of man, the erotic act, etc.) Against a wall soiled by the inarticulate claws of the desparate (see Li Ho: "Witness the man who raved at the wall as he wrote his questions to Heaven.") the children use their new brushes to cover the graffiti. A dancing Xuxa reveals to them paints provided by the Rag Dog, the colors as sublimations of the myriad expressions of nature, simplified for their violence addled and hungry hearts. There is dancing and the consumption of sodas. Kids do hype BMX tricks in anticipation of romance and explosions of emotion waiting in their adult lives. The Rag Dog barks and smiles on the body as a celebration.

Xuxa embraces the Rag Dog, behind her the paint is drying in the shape of a heart. This is love because of, or despite, the temporary nature of our lives and bodies. Death is not feared and excluded, but invited, and therefore provides. The rainbow which is painted across Xuxa's dope titties hides the heart which is shown to all, as a sign of hope, on the dirty wall. The children paint this rainbow over the dirty scrawl. The Rag Dog connects each member of the ceremony with a painted red line on the ground. His brush sweeps over their shoes, even Xuxa's glowing white pumps. This red line is the biological interiority of man.

The young man in the denim jacket who has until now held back from the celebration is now entering the ceremony. But his attention is not on colors redecorating the profane wall, but on Xuxa's bike. He mounts it and pantomimes that he is revving the engine. This is not unlike the kabbalists who believed they could harness the creative force of god by knowing his true name and therefore harness the divine will. But the young man with the denim jacket is acting out an unknowing immature coupling with Xuxa. The young man's immature actions show the inarticulate desire to become one with Xuxa if not only temporarily. His precociousness speaks of greater things. This is the birth of a poet.

III: Other Sources

This close reading of the above file footage hopefully illustrates the mysterious powers and presence of Xuxa. My field intelligence work has lead me to many other stories of Xuxa's interventions in our world. Sadly none of these interventions were captured on film so I will provide accounts from interviews with witnesses and mediums (names withheld).

1. Xuxa, using her Nazi heritage as a disguise, insinuates herself into a gathering of vile and loathsome entities holding a costume ball in a destroyed mansion. Sneaking in passed the grieving, the sick, and the dead to the main table where the cloaked monsters sharpen their teeth and scrape their claws across maps of the world, Xuxa joins the gathering. When the monsters finish giving their speeches of numbers and wounds Xuxa pulls off her cloak to reveal her ivory marching band costume. As the screeches of carrion eaters and bureaucrat fills the mansion Xuxa jumps onto the table, her white boots stomping on their black meals. She lifts up her white skirt revealing a blinding light which destroys the boogeymen. All that is left is a pile of burnt receipts. She walks hand and hand with the survivors out of the wreckage to her pink spaceship parked under a rainbow.

2. Xuxa pilots her spaceship to an ancient forest where a unicorn is killing virgins. The unicorn has been stabbing young women in the forest, possibly raping them, shitting everywhere, and generally being an asshole. Hunters have been sent out to find the unicorn, but have found too many other things to kill in the bountiful forest and have returned home with pelts and meat but no unicorn. They shrug as they eat whole legs of deer and rabbits.
Xuxa dons the white shorts of a virgin and waits under a blossoming tree. When the unicorn appears covered in blood and briars Xuxa bares her sex to entice it. The unicorn is enticed and approaches Xuxa. She slips her legs around the unicorn's head and slips the horn inside of her. She then fucks the unicorn's head until it dies. With the money Xuxa made from donating the unicorn's horn and body to science, Xuxa can buy prosthetic limbs for orphans within a two thousand mile radius of the forest.

3. There was once an evil king who collected all kinds of automatons and clockwork curios. He imposed hateful taxes which bankrupted the citizenry so that amongst the lower classes the national dress became barrels and the national currency became sawdust. The king's palace was filled with golden machines imitating sunrises and songbirds. The king walked through the gardens giving complicated orders to his artisans to build a faithful recreation of the heavens out of golden gears.
Xuxa tied a bow around her pink spaceship and flew it to gates of the castle. The king's clockwork butlers mistook the spaceship for a gift, another machine sent from foreign dignitaries and well wishers, and brought the spaceship to the king, and placed it amongst the golden machines.
The king rubbed his hands together in anticipation of the gift. Xuxa emerged from the spaceship dressed as a ballerina, her skin and clothing painted in a glowing gold.
The spaceship played a beautiful tune, imitating a musicbox. Xuxa spun on one leg in a pirouette and the king immediately fell in love with her.
As the king stepped forward to embrace her Xuxa smiled a brilliant white smile which burned the king to a crisp and fillled the whole castle with light. The golden machines melted from the heat.
Rivers of molten gold rolled out of the windows and doors of the castle and the citizenry rejoiced.

4. The boy with the denim jacket was a slave of the king Jehoaichin and walked in procession with the other slaves on the banks of the Chebar in the land of the Chaldeans.
Xuxa's pink spaceship appeared to him from the heavens, and the boy looked upon its terrifying aspects. Xuxa took a burning hot coal from within the depths of the spaceship and placed it into the boy's mouth. The boy from that day forth could speak nothing but the truth and eventually went to the valley of the rusted cars, where, with his new powers he raised the dead.

But there are also sources which speak of Xuxa as having maleficent and evil aspects. These accounts speak of Xuxa using her powers for ends which seem strange when held in comparison to her more popular deeds.

1. There was a factory with no doors but only windows where children were forced to work at conveyor belts assembling horrible things which snarled and clawed at them. They worked until they dropped dead of exhaustion. Their only "lunch break" was on every other tuesday when they lined up at the factory's windows to see Xuxa arrive outside on her motorbike.
Xuxa would pull up to the factory on her white motorbike and recline on it, eating souvlaki from a paper dish. While she reclined and ate, the juice from the paper tray splashed all over white tank top and her bare legs. When she had finished eating she stood up, pulled on the elastic on her white shorts, and poured the remaining souvlaki juice down the front of her pants.
The children watched in silence while their stomachs growled with hunger. As the whistle blew signaling the end of the break, Xuxa got back on her bike and drove away.

2. There was a fancy dress party held in the great white hall. Men and women from many nations appeared in their finery to dance and feast.
When dinner was served and all attendees sat down to the table they found all of the glasses and utensils missing.
Xuxa appeared laughing, dressed like a storm, and lined all of the guests against the walls of the dining room.
She walked down the line of the guests, insulting and berating them, tearing their clothes, eating their food in front of them, punching and kicking them, doing insulting imitations of them to their face, drawing rude pictures of their children and parents in front of them, blowing smoke in their faces, giving them haircuts, spitting on them, throwing money at them, screaming at them in a nonsense language, stealing their pocket money, and so on in that fashion.
When she finished her circle around the room she jumped into her pink spaceship which had until then been disguised as a giant pink roast on the table. She flew away crashing through the ceiling of the white hall, destroying the chandeliers and the lode bearing walls.
After Xuxa had left all of the guests went home without speaking. Later they sent letters back and forth discussing the incident, but would not talk about it in person.
The white hall collapsed, and where it once stood, nothing will grow.

3. Xuxa appeared before two women who were condemned to death. They were waiting in the courtyard of the jail awaiting their execution. The sun was just beginning to rise and the women hugged themselves against the cold. Xuxa appeared in a swirl of white fire.
The women thought Xuxa had come to save them and fell to their knees thanking her. Xuxa instead stuck a bunch of pushpins into their foreheads, laughed, and disappeared.


What is to be made of these conflicting accounts?

Are the negative accounts libellous attacks by shallow enemies?

Are the stories of her good deeds merely a clever advertising campaign?

It is hard to tell from current data but it is my opinion that if either of the accounts of Xuxa's either naughty or nice actions are true, then both sides have to be true.

With all of this field work I still do not know the answer to the most important question:
WHO OR WHY IS XUXA?

written but not proofread
Sextidi, 26 Brumaire CCXVIII