WHAT IS ANIME FOUL IS ANIME FAIR

So I am working at the 2010 Tokyo Anime Fair today through Sunday, doing English interpreting for my friends' three man animation studio.
What can I say?
If I knew at age 12 I would one day be working in the belly of the anime beast, the age 12 me would be elated.
(feel free to skip this next section, and go directly to B)
A:
But this shit is not Fist of The North Star, and it is sure as hell not Akira. Shit dog, it's not even Bubblegum Crisis.
From what I understand anime today is video game tie-ins like Pokemon, rehashes of old shit from almost half a century ago like Doraemon etc., some race cars and robots, but for the most part, the most popular shits is obviously shows about 12 year old girls hanging out at home and having mundane conversations.
Imagine four twelve year old girls talking about shampoo in high pitched voices. Now, know that a man is masturbating to these twelve year old girls. Now grit your teeth and shake your head.
I have seen animes about girls being raped by tentacles and clockwork statues of the Buddha, I have seen an anime about fighting waitresses in a no-holds barred combat tournament where they rape each other to win, etc., and somehow all that is less perverse than this. It is my theory that this anime pandering to sex and violence blunted the overall nerd capacity for sex and violence and now they are so glutted and desensitized that they can only beat off to a group of middleschoolers preparing food and taking pratfalls. Now hump a pillow shaped like a child.
Yikes.
Anyway:
B.
I was super hyped to find the DIRECTIONS display booth which had an extended trailer for ACBU's AMAZONESS (Below is the short trailer that has been around for a while, the new one isn't up yet)

This shit is too awesome. Please watch it more than once. I wish I could put up the newer one, it is longer.
Also if you have hung out with me in the last 3 or so years I have shown you this, also made by ACBU, the video for ZAMAGI's "Magical Death".

The dude at the booth was kind of freaked out that I was into Zamagi. I pretended like I was down from day one but the truth is my old studio mate went to highschool with them.
Then I stood around and watched the same animation about teaching kids about how to brush their teeth. This was playing at the booth across from the booth where I am working. I watched this animation on repeat for six or so hours only stopping a few times to smoke or drink something.
And I am prepared to do this again, tomorrow, which also happens to be my birthday.
My girlfriend is taking me out for some kind of surprise afterward.
How can I explain to her that I can no longer maintain an erection unless she is a group of twelve year old girls?

THE WHITE MAN IS BEING OPPRESSED IN 2009, DID YOU KNOW?

Pat Buchanan's race baiting on Sotomayor. Jump to 1:20 for the this gem: "What is happening now, to white men right now, is exactly what was done to black folks for years...".

This is the same Pat Buchanan whose presidential campaign video featured a man choking, calling 911, and having to wait through the Spanish instructions, and ultimately dying. The point being argued that America is endangered by having people who speak different languages(?).

Via mediamatters.

R. KELLY AND THE DESTRUCTION OF THE ANCIENT LIBRARY

So this is old news, but I read this some time ago and it cracked me up:

"To date, neither a trailer nor even a still photo from the film, which
tells the story of a disabled soldier who uses technology to inhabit
an alien body on a distant planet, has been made public by Mr. Cameron
or Fox.

But a number of enthusiasts who have been swapping notes on the
message boards at IMDB.com claim to have already seen the movie -- in
their dreams. "The special effects were mostly drawings and cartoons,
but they looked 3-D still," wrote one "planetshane," whose particular
dream involved a pirated copy of an early version.

"It was the best movie I had ever seen," the post continued."

:
via The New York Times, full article
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/25/movies/25avatar.html?_r=2

So this is about some enthusiastic fans discussing a movie they have not seen, pushed to a level of obsession at which they are seeing the movie, and describing this dream to other obsessives on the Internet.

I thought about this today because I was thinking about a similar incident I witnessed.
I was attending a certain liberal arts college (to protect the innocent let's call it "Bard College") and was attending a lecture given by a certain famous American poet (who we will be calling "R. Kelly" after "The World's Greatest").
I don't remember what the theme of the lecture was, or why I was there, but it wasn't a class and was held in a large auditorium. Perhaps there were other lecturers. Perhaps I was there to impress a girl or to have something to talk to a girl about afterward. I don't remember.
Anyway, at some point R. Kelly got behind the lectern and started giving some kind of speech.

In the speech he was describing a dream he had, in which he had witnessed the burning of the Ancient Library of Alexandria. (The largest library of the ancient world, purportedly burned by Julius Caesar, though this is contested)
R. Kelly gave a rousing speech in which he described the horrified feeling of watching those ancient texts vanish, never to be read again, disappearing into the fire and falling columns.
I looked around the auditorium and saw that everyone was transfixed. R. Kelly described waking up in tears, thinking of how close he was to all of those lost texts, and the tragedy that he witnessed was beyond his description.
It was absolute maudlin bullshit. But I looked around and everyone seemed to be totally taken in by it. There were almost audible sighs, and people wiping tears away from their eyes. Maybe I am exaggerating.
But I had the overwhelming feeling that R. Kelly was lying. That he had indeed not actually had this dream, but had made it up.
I don't know if I was justified in this feeling.
Maybe it was because at the time I felt entirely opposed to the pretentiousness and ridiculous solipsism of academia at "Bard College". I was annoyed that I had been locked out of two majors. I was pretty pissed that I was expected to have an opinion about Jacques Derrida. (I was nineteen years old.)
I also hated R. Kelly despite not knowing his work. (I still haven't read anything by him)
Regardless, I felt deeply, as if by some kind of instinct, that R. Kelly was lying. He never had a dream about the destruction of the library in a dream, and he was lying about it.
And I think I know why I felt that way when I think about it now.

R. Kelly was attaching himself, via the semi-supernatural act of dreaming, to a historical event (which, by the way, might be apocryphal, because some archaeologists contest that there is one single event which destroyed the library, nor is it in Roman records)

Then again, maybe R. Kelly was not lying about the dream. Maybe Planetshane really did get a sneak preview in his mind.

I once watched five episodes of the Sopranos in a row and had a dream which vaguely had something to do with the Sopranos. I remember having a dream about The Legend of Zelda as a kid.

Nah, fuck it, I still feel like he was lying. Not only was the content of the dream too pretentious to be true, his maudlin delivery was totally suspect.

THE LOST

-Everyone left behind (via Left Behind)
-All of the Greek heroes sighing in Elysium (via Dante)
-the 60,000 fetuses who will never become American citizens (via the O'reilly Factor)

CHILDREN SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS TO JUSTIFY PERSECUTION

THE ANCIENT GODS HAVE DRIVEN ME MAD AND ALL I CAN WRITE IS HACK SHIT FOR NERDS TO LOVE AFTER I AM LONG DEAD

26 Dream of ancient castle stairs—sleeping guards—narrow window—battle on plain between men of England and men of yellow tabards with red dragons. Leader of English challenges leader of foe to single combat. They fight. Foe unhelmeted, but there is no head revealed. Whole army of foe fades into mist, and watcher finds himself to be the English knight on the plain, mounted. Looks at castle, and sees a peculiar concentration of fantastic clouds over the highest battlements.

27 Life and Death
Death—its desolation and horror—bleak spaces—sea-bottom—dead cities. But Life—the greater horror! Vast unheard-of reptiles and leviathans—hideous beasts of prehistoric jungle—rank slimy vegetation—evil instincts of primal man—Life is more horrible than death.

28 The Cats of Ulthar
The cat is the soul of antique Ægyptus and bearer of tales from forgotten cities of Meroë and Ophir. He is the kin of the jungle’s lords, and heir to the secrets of hoary and sinister Africa. The Sphinx is his cousin, and he speaks her language; but he is more ancient than the Sphinx, and remembers that which she hath forgotten.

29 Dream of Seekonk—ebbing tide—bolt from sky—exodus from Providence—fall of Congregational dome.

30 Strange visit to a place at night—moonlight—castle of great magnificence etc. Daylight shews either abandonment or unrecognisable ruins—perhaps of vast antiquity.

31 Prehistoric man preserved in Siberian ice. (See Winchell—Walks and Talks in the Geological field—p. 156 et seq.)

32 As dinosaurs were once surpassed by mammals, so will man-mammal be surpassed by insect or bird—fall of man before the new race. [x]

33 Determinism and prophecy. [x]

34 Moving away from earth more swiftly than light—past gradually unfolded—horrible revelation.

35 Special beings with special senses from remote universes. Advent of an external universe to view.